My love consumes me. I feel like if I dont tell everyone that asks then I'm living a lie, but there is so much hate. When I walk down the street holding Elizabeth's hand I'm never ashamed but I feel on the defense. I feel because our love is so precious I wouldnt want it to be looked down upon, and if it is I'm going to have to defend it. They say New Mexico is a really open state but in my expirence it's been a really hateful one too. I still will hold her hand but I dont like feel like our love will be attalked. I guess I need to just be a more secure person then. I had just gone through a lot of persecution for other things when I was younger and I'm scared of it.
but back to what I was originly was saying. I'm a really open person. open about my faith and how I feel about subjects, but this one I feel as though I cant be that way about it, Or I wont get jobs, I'll get persecuted at other jobs (Expirenced that before), other Christians wont want me in the church unless I'm their newest saving project, but I hate living a lie. I'm so proud and love my girl so much, and she is my life, I want to be able to express that love where ever I go, but feel I cant.
You know I think that living a lie cant be to ethical and I wonder if it's Biblical. What do you think. Are we commiting sins by not being honest about this lifestyle? I feel like that sometimes. I guess it's time I grow some hair on my chest and let people say what they say and stop trying to protect our love. Trust that God will give us strength. I'm scared that I wont get a job any where but Hot Topic then. any advice?
Hey katt: I never felt a burning desire to shout from the housetops when I was living as a heterosexual and married. In fact due to abuse I was experiencing I couldn't even meet the eyes of clerks selling me a newspaper. I believe that sometimes it is necessary to keep our cards close to the vest. Why must we wear labels and tell everyone ALL? That is only my opinion, of course. As God leads you, share your feelings when you think it's appropriate. Use discretion and wisdom. I'm not open with anyone close to me at this point regarding my sexual orientation, nor about the struggles I have been having in coming to terms with the fact I am attracted to women. Here on the board I can be myself and for today that is enough. God bless you. Katie42
"I will build your walls with precious stones, I will never leave you nor forsake you..."
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Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."
Posts: 518 | Location: Wisconsin | Registered: April 29, 2005
Katt, I'm sure God doesn't view it as a sin if you don't tell everyone everything. God understands our need to be safe, and God knows that you could be in danger if you came out to some people. For me, openness depends on the type of relationship you have with the people you want to come out to. If there are people you care about, and discuss personal things, then you might want to be out to them, even if they reject you, because those kinds of relationships are based on honesty, and that kind of friend will not reject you for long if at all. But for the general public, I see a need to tell only if you are trying to make a point or a political statement. I have come out to a roomfull of professionals when I wanted them to understand what it was like to be a lesbian. But I don't hold my sweetie's hand in public - it's really none of their business. Relax and let God take the lead. Ingrid
Posts: 294 | Location: Monrovia, MD USA | Registered: August 25, 2003
I dont have to tell anyone anything about Elizabeth and they know that we are togeather. ( I was just walking into Sams' club with her and we were hearing comments. So we decided the next time that that happens that were going to make out in front of the haters.) Infact you guys are the only ones that i have been verbly open with but people just know and I feel that I have to lie sometimes because it's the same as hiding to me, and I dont want to hide from people nor God I'm not ashamed for my love that makes me so happy. I'm only ashamed when I dont tell people the truth about us when they ask, because I fear their condemnation and hate. I just wonder if I should endure it no matter the consiquence. I love her and that is that and if people specially christian people dont like it tough, but it's like because I do love her I must not want to serve God or something because they then disreguard your faith and service completely. I just want to know if I should hide if I shouldnt just be not shouting it out but if asked honest and true to my heart SAY YES...
Katt, I don't tell people that I have a girlfriend, but they know I'm in love by the twinkle in my eye when they mention her name. There's no need to say anymore.
(and I have never seen a heterosexual couple making out in Sam's Club just to prove they were together, so why would you?!)
Posts: 784 | Location: Hawaii | Registered: October 01, 2003
about the making out that is just for shock factor. Everyone thinks it this shocking thing to see. It's just to tease. To say we dont care just for fun. To see their up tight faces but feel humor in the situation thats all. I guess that I'm the onlyone who feels this way. It's ok, I've always sortive been that type. To each his own.
Katt7, Your right about the shock factore others have when they see you kissing your girl, I dropped my girlfriend off at work the other day cause her car was in the shop and not thinking about it I gave her a kiss goodbye right in the middle of Dunkin Doughnuts, it was kind of fun to watch people freak out lol. but normally we try not to be overly affectionate in publice mostly cause Im not really that kind of person.
Aaaaaaaaah, see, giving your girl a kiss good-bye and making out in public are two very different things! I think that if I saw two people making out in public (gay or straight) I would think they were trashy. Is that what you want others to think of you?
Man, when did I get old?!
Posts: 784 | Location: Hawaii | Registered: October 01, 2003
Wow, New Song, when DID you get old? (Don't worry about her, Katt, I have met New Song, and believe me, she doesn't act old in person.) Wait --- did I just insult someone? Didn't mean to.
My ex and I used to think up ways we could shock people, especially when we were first going out. We never really did it, though. One thing that was really nice was when we attended a Gay Pride celebration together. From the moment we walked in, there was this great atmosphere and we knew it was ok for us to hold hands, put our arms around each other, etc. in public and we'd be accepted. It was great to be in that environment and feel accepted and "normal". The thing is, most of our society is not ok with that, yet. That's just the way it is, for now. And we have to make our way in this world as we best see fit. Sure, you can do the shocking things, but in the end, what does that really get you, except perhaps being even more outcast?
Posts: 254 | Location: Atlanta, GA, USA | Registered: October 12, 2003
Alas...I must conceed that I am O-L-D. Sorry, Kat if I am coming on a little strong. I really just want what's best for you. Won't it be cool when we are in heaven and everyone 'else' learns that being gay is okay?!
Posts: 784 | Location: Hawaii | Registered: October 01, 2003
I grew up persicuted for being me all my life. If I get persecuted for being gay it wont be too much different. There is always something people want to belittle. Makeing out is an exaggeration. I dont even want a too long of a kiss at my ceremony. The difference in the people at my wedding...they will be there becuase they dont think that were trashy and they support us, but the people in the stores who are like ooooo their gay they already think that were perverse and "trashy" I just want to tell them with out being angry that they need to mind there own business and let me shop in Sam's with out there ghasps, stares and rude comments. I might as well go with it,and get a laugh at a really anoying situation, buy grossing them out. homophobes are so touchy, and fare game.
I have read this thread with interest. I understand not wanting to live a lie. But I guess I am curious. What are you and your girlfriend doing in the stores to make people gasp or make comments? I have been with my wife in many stores, airports, restaurants, theaters, etc in the 7 years we have been together, I never have heard ONE comment. I have NEVER heard ONE gasp. I have NEVER even seen STARES. Instead, I have heard people ask "How are you ladies doing tonight?". Had people laugh with us because we tease each other. But NEVER has anyone been rude. We have purchased 3 homes and furnished all of them. No one, not even the service guys, or delivery guys have ever been rude.
Now, do we hold hands in the store? No. Do we kiss in the store? No. Do we sit next to each other in a restaurant? Sometimes, but we like to talk and see each other. Do we play footsie at the restaurant? Yes! Do we call each other "honey or sweetie" when out? At times! I believe I am a PERSON who happens to be GAY. And I want people to KNOW me that way first. Not as GAY and then as a person!
Sorry for the delayed reply. No we don’t do anything to red flag our sexuality nor our sexual preference. My girlfriend is my red flag. Everyone just knows it about her. She's a jock and dresses sporty. I don’t feel the need to tell her to be other wise but that is what we do we go into places and be ourselves and be people. The two young ladies that said that about us were our age and well they would have understood what we were proposing to do. I didn’t mean to seem promiscuous, maybe were having some generational misunderstandings because I do everything but flaunt it. I'm a little offended by these assumptions. If you don’t understand that’s fine but don’t assume please...
I know that some understand, I think that it's because they are younger. Or whatever
I say this because of the above posts...
about the making out that is just for shock factor. Everyone thinks it this shocking thing to see. It's just to tease. To say we dont care just for fun. To see their up tight faces but feel humor in the situation thats all. I guess that I'm the onlyone who feels this way. It's ok, I've always sortive been that type. To each his own. Posts: 42 | Registered: August 17, 2005
Becca Member Posted November 03, 2005 09:59 PM Katt7, Your right about the shock factore others have when they see you kissing your girl, I dropped my girlfriend off at work the other day cause her car was in the shop and not thinking about it I gave her a kiss goodbye right in the middle of Dunkin Doughnuts, it was kind of fun to watch people freak out lol. but normally we try not to be overly affectionate in publice mostly cause Im not really that kind of person.
