I was raised Christian. I gave my life to Him when I was eleven. My family found out last year that me and my bestfriend fell in love. My little sister is the one who saw it when we hugged. She's 13 now. I never Had to come out it was apparent in everyhting that I did. She is my soul mate, my love and everyone seems to know it by looking at us.

My mother was really hurt when I finally told her. She believes that I dont try to live for God anymore. She was really hateful about it. It's sad we had a really good relationship. I was also my dads pride and joy. Ive tryed to please God since I was 11. Ive always been a "good kid" and now you would think I was Hitler smoking crack w/ the way they act.

Ive had sucha good relationship with my family I hate that I fear telling them that I love Elizabeth. I wish they would come to our announcement ceremony and be happy that I found someone to love me like I love her, someone that I can share my life with and share in my happiness. It chases it a way in ways... it makes it all more confusing. I wish they had more faith in the fact that I'm still me and Love God with all my heart. Is there anyone out there who has gone through this will they learn to accept me if not what I do? Should we tell our parents?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: katt7,

Oh, Katt, this is definitely an area of struggle for most of us! My mom found out when she came to my house unexpectantly on Valentine's day. There were a dozen red roses on the kitchen table from my girlfriend. She wanted to know about "him".

It was hard and 18 months later we are just now getting so that we can talk openly about my girlfriend. My mom loves me no matter what...I just had to give God some time to work on her heart! Everyone's experiences are different but don't stop praying and watch God take care of the rest!

I know others will have more things to add to this so I'll go. Know that I'll be praying for you and Elizabeth!

I fear telling my parents about our commitment to eachother. Theyre in deep denial or hope that I will do what they believe is right. My little sister thinks I'm going to Hell.I probably should pray for her, pray for peace. It must hurt her if she believes that. I dont want them to hurt I want them to be happy for me because I'm happy a little confused but really happy.

What you said about you and your mother is encouraging. I Think that now that my cousin doesnt control my job I will tell anyone who asks even my parents.

I'm so glad I found this site. I was searching for a while and all I found were perverted lesbians doing ungodly acts and wanting to with me. Totally not appealing. I thank God for all of you it's a blessing.

with love katt

Kat when my mom found out about my partner and I some 18 some odd years ago I thought the world had collapsed on her. In some ways I think she thought I had betrayed her. I was her daughter, the 'strong one' in the Lord who had helped lead her back to her faith. And now I was gay? She couldn't reconcile the two for many, many months. Then my mom realzied that:

1. I was truly happy.
2. She loved me no matter who I was
3. I still loved the Lord
4. My girlfriend was pretty cool and seemed like a good person for me to be with.

She still didn't accept us for a long time and had difficulties with it but she came around. She still says strange things from time-to-time that make me realize she doesn't view our relationship quite on par with my brother or sisters marriage. No matter that my sister has been divorced and Pam and I have been together over 18 years (longer than my brothers marriage). So be it. My mom loves us both and cares about our relationship a lot.

Lord willing your mom, little sis and the rest of them will 'turn the page' and learn to look at you and your girlfriend in a new light.

I think that I'm going to e-mail my mother. i just hope that it doesnt hurt her. I know her view on it.

I quit my job today could you pray that I will get a job soon. I really cant be out of work to long but my job was abusive.

Nora, it sounds like you are going through a rough time in your life! I'll be praying for you as you talk to your mom. Let us know how it goes!

ok I goofed that up( the above post) but what I wanted to say is I have the same kind of thing with my Mom. Little things bug sometimes Like I know she sends my sisters anniversary cards but I know she does not know or remember when Nancy and I got married. ( she could not be there due to health) But She Loves Nancy. In fact I think she cares for her more than she does for my brother in laws but just like it sometimes takes us time to get used to it. i8t also takes our families

That's a good point. When you look at how many years you yourself deal with adjusting to the idea, you shouldn't expect that it would be any easier for your family, regardless of how much they love you.

Hello Doc, and all,
Everyone including myself thought I was straight till I was 20. I sometimes think that I should know for sure, before I say anything. My wife and I met in church. We dont know what to think of it all. I cut my hair really short the year I met my wife with knowing I was stright in mind and who cares if I got hit on it wouldnt matter. The thing is that the only thing that makes me gay is that I fell in love with my best friend who is a girl whom I met in church. I'm not sure what that makes me so I'm not sure what it is that I'm getting used to because I still like men and if she were I would love her the same not to mention would eliminate complications and confusions. I just wasnt going for a girl quite opposite I just found answered prayers and quenched desires in her because my heart said so. My fight is for my heart, for the love that is with in it. I know if I were to tell my story to the world to my mother and didnt tell them it's a women they would give blessings and congrats, I dont understand how her sex invalidates my heart and taints everything. My fight is for my life which is the love's in my heart, God and her. I think that I will tell my mother that way so she can see her hipcrosity and understand my fight and confusion.

Thanks for your support and allowing me to expess my self it's really helped me.

Love Peaches

Peaches.... I love that name! When I was a kid my Mom used to read me a book and the little girl in it was nicknamed Peaches. Anyway, don't feel alone in your quest for answers. I'm over sixty years old now and recently divorced from my husband of some 23 years. I'm still asking questions but in my heart I know what I feel, and well, if your heart does not condemn you, you know what the Bible says. When I read about "there is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus," I get comfort. I KNOW who I am in Christ! Keep asking questions, keep seeking and remember that the greatest commandment of all is to LOVE.

God bless you, Katie42

Katt7,
I know how hard it is to tell your mom, I was also raised in a christian home and for that im greatful, my mom jsut recently found out I was gay and had a very hard time with it but has recently relized that Im happy with Angie and is taking strides to get to know her,to the surprise of everyone my mom invited Angie to spend the weekend with us (Angie lives in another state) and they got along great.anyway my point is be patient with your mom she will in time come around.

Sorry that it has taken so long to reply Becca, I still haven’t told my mother. I live with my girlfriend. I think that my parents have a pretty good idea that were together, but I don’t know how I'm going to tell them that were getting married!

It makes me so happy I wish they could share in my happiness. If my love was a male my mother would make my dress, my veil, do the flowers and the cake, my dad would work day and night to have it in a big hotel, but they won’t even come up the stairs to our apt. I think that they think that they might catch what we got or something. I donno. It's funny because my fiancé is so much like them, the good things of course. If they could only give her a chance I know that they would see what I see. She is so amazing and beautiful especially on the inside.

My parents were going to co-sign for a school loan and I had their drivers license #'s and my Lizzy threw them away by accident and my mother used that to convince my dad to not give me the # again, because she knows that he hates homosexuals and blames Liz for my decisions. Now I have to spend Christmas with them and I can barley stand them. I guess what do I have to loose then? If it weren’t for my sister I would rather spend it by my self anyways.

Katt!!!

Give them time. They will eventually see what you see. Even then, there will be days they have trouble with it...but I have to believe they'll come around!

Blessings
Carol

Katt,
Your story sounds so like mine! I came out to my parents about 1 year ago. (after 22 years of being straight) They are still really struggling to come to terms with my relationship with Des. I never really thought about my sexuality until I fell in love with my best friend, and like you, that person just happens to be a girl! We're not engaged yet, and haven't spent too much time talking about it, mainly because I think an announcement like that would break my parents. They still pray that I will "turn from these ways" and think that what I'm doing is so sinful and unnatural. I wish they could see how happy I am with Des (we're living in London before going back home to South Africa in 1 years time) because I'm sure they would then have an easier time coming to terms with it. Is there any way for your folks to see you and Liz together more? Even if its in a group..like a dinner party or something?!

My sister has also not been much support at all, and recently has expressed her concerns about "not ever having neices or nephews" and "what about cousins for her children!" I felt really hurt by this and also think it was a rather selfish view to have.

I still love my family to bits though, and hope that with time they will be more accepting, and be happy for me. We've always been very close. I find it hard not to have feelings of anger and hurt about the situation I find myself in. I know that anger is not from God, and this is something I need to work on.

How was Christmas with your family? Have you told them yet? I'll be praying for peace and understanding for your sister and parents, and courage for you and Liz.

Carms

I haven’t told my parents and I don’t know if I ever will.

I knew my love was hiding something from me, and I did something bad and read her journal. In it I read that she was scared to tell me that it would be easier to just be friends. That’s my girl always the easy way out. I was heartbroken that the fight for true belief and me were not worth the fight to her.

I confronted her and she said that she didn’t know if she wanted to marry me anymore and then all the sudden said that it was God telling her she couldn’t. She now says that she would have married me if God didn’t make her doubt and if He didn’t say no. But why wouldn’t He tell me? I don’t know what to believe but this hurts more than anything. She acts like she is hurt by it all but I don’t know what to believe. She doesn’t even cry, she's not a crier but... all i know is that I'm alive and sometimes I wish that God would take care of that.

I don’t think that I'll ever tell my parents I will never be unequally yoked, and I will never get involved with another woman it's not worth the heartache.

But I'm not going to marry a man because he has the right private parts, I would rather be alone and my parents would rather remain ignorant.

Katt...I've been at a time in my life where I believed that there was no God because He surely wouldn't allow me to go through such pain. You'll find Him on the other side of the pain and someday this will all make sense. God won't take you where He can't keep you!