Hi! I have no idea exactly where to put this...I thought this would be the best place. So if there's a better board to post this in, please let me know! Thanks!

I have a concern and questions for those of you who have come out to family. My beloved came out to most of her family a while ago. Her sisters both have gay friends so we were confident they would be pretty accepting. It seemed that way. Then lately, one of my beloved's sisters (who she lives with until we have our ceremony)has been very odd with her. Almost hurtful. And I hate seeing my gf go through this. My gf made a statement that seemed to make sense to me and have all the pieces of the puzzle finally fit.

Since I've been out to her family, her sister has been hot and cold with me. Mostly cold. I was thinking it was because being a female in a relationship with her baby sister and that there are only girls in the family, this seemed to me that I was a threat to the sisterly bond that they share. I wouldn't jeopardize that, but it's hard convincing her. Anyway, tonight, my gf said that she believes that her sister is supportive of gay men, but not lesbians. She's even made snide remarks like "lesbo" and other comments I won't mention. This was all in the past. My gf has not told her that we're planning on a ceremony (which I had mixed feelings about, but now I'm starting to understand). The thing is, her sister has been at times rude to me, ignoring me, and then complaining to my gf that I'm being the rude one. I've gone out of my way to be nice and do things, but it just gets brushed off. My gf has tried to talk to her sister about a lot of things, especially on how she treats me and now her, hurting her feelings when it comes to me. But if her sister has a problem with lesbians to begin with, how do you overcome that type of prejudice and homophobia? It's not so much in your face, but it's there and it's real.

I'm going to a PFLAG meeting tomorrow night, but I would like some answers from some of you ladies (or gents) who have been there, done that, or are still doing that. Do you have any ideas, resources, etc. that can help my gf's sister accept lesbians? And I wonder this, too: do you notice that men have a problem with gay men, and vice-versa? Do you notice that? Why do you think that is? I'm just wanting to understand more, and to help my gf. I'm justing wanting to break down and say, Move in with me now. She doesn't want to have me "give up" my stance on why I'm waiting for a lifetime commitment (my reason- because of past mistakes). So, please let me know what I can do!!! Thanks!

Abigail