I would never compare myself with someone’s experience, as each life is different, and therefore I cant be in favor, neither against in advising to come out is the best thing you can do, as what can make someone happy, can also bring sorrow to someone else.

In my case, I have always kept my sexual orientation in private, far from my family and friends. For who I am, the most important in my life is not my sexual orientation as I only see this as a portion of me, and not what I am entirely as there are other factors that define me as a person. I prefer people come and learn themselves whom I am, without the need of telling them.

However, I have seen how importance it is for many gay Christian in the US, UK and other countries, to come out to their family and friends. In have read posts (in other sites) , that if you haven’t come out, you should, since you are not being honest to yourself and therefore living a double life.

It’s really saddened me when people comes to this conclusion, without understanding the circumstance a persona may have to remain in the closet. I was raise with the knowledge that Gods doesn’t inflict you, with things you cannot handle. So, knowing I can cause some suffering to the people I love for this, I attempt to avoid this. Am I doing right, thinking like this?

Love in Jesus,Jomar

Jomar,

I think this is a personal decision by all. I came out to my mom quite by accident. I didn't have any really desire to tell her at all. I'm glad I did because it has been a freeing experience, for the most part.

I also have a friend who has NEVER come out to her parents. They didn't catch on until years after she was living with her partner. It's never been discussed and the parents treat everyone like family. She doesn't see the need to 'muddy the waters'.

I think it's up to the individual. And to be truthful, I have never heard a straight person feel the need to 'come out'. They do what we all should...they bring their new 'friend' home to meet mom and dad at the right time. That's really what I would have preferred to do all along!

Sounds to me like you have made your decision on how to handle it and for you, that is the right decision.

Blessings,
Carol

Jomar, as you said, every life is different, so each of us will have a different answer about coming out, and to whom. I am out with everyone close to me, since I think keeping secrets gets in the way of closeness. But I would not be out to anyone who would be hurt by the information. I am out at work and at church, but they are both very open and accepting places. Years ago, before I had a partner, I was out to only a very few people. Now that I have my partner, she comes up in conversation when we talk about what we do over the weekend, etc., so coming out is not a big "revelation," but just part of casual conversation. I can see your reasons for remaining silent, and respect them because they are important to you. What do the rest of you think?

Hello Carol and Ingrid:

Thanks soooooo much for understanding, this means a lot to me. It’s hard to be part of another group that sees the importance of coming out, like the vital thing in a gay life, especially if you’re Christian. I do see the important to be able to live opening to others, especially with those one hold great affection and love. But God know the purpose of every individual and He works with everyone differently, right? I mean, should one decide not to come out, many look like if one is a fraud as a Christian or something, and only God is the one that can judge us. As for my experience, this is something I have not allow myself to share with the people I love. I mean, the trail to reconcile your faith with being a gay person is sometime very heart breaking, I know it has been for me. To only image, one can also impose another suffering of a different nature (rejection, and judgment) from families and friends, is something I can’t foresee. I think, that only the Grace of God can lead one to do so, and to face much more as many gays Christian do, this is truly admirable and very brave. But for those that are still in silent (in the closet) many prayers should be given. I am truly grateful for your understanding.

With love in Christ, Jomar