I told my best friend...who is more like family than most of my family...and she is encouraging me to get out of this relationship with the woman I love (and yes, I am also married to a man so I understand that) but she has made it clear that she still loves me and thinks highly of me.
However, I told my dear friend, who has been my mentor and mother-figure...and she flipped. Told me it was gross and disgusting, what was I thinking, I know better, etc, etc.
I'm so hurt...and already so torn over this relationship and my spirituality. I feel like a breaking point is coming. I know this is nothing new and I shouldn't have expected better. It is much harder to actually face than I thought.
My heart goes out to you. It hurts so much when the people we love and respect don't understand us. When I told one of my best friends (we practically grew up together), she did not take it well. And to my surprise, the next time it came up, several months later, her words were even more hurtful, judgmental, etc. However, we have remained friends and I THINK she is getting a little more used to the fact that I am gay. It will take time for your friends to absorb and process this news, even if they sort of knew all along. I so wish that my words to you could take away your pain. I encourage you to surround yourself with people who love and do understand and accept you...even if the only ones who do are on this site, keep coming here for support as you need. And above all, keep communicating with God, keep being honest with Him. He will not abandon you, Lily.
Posts: 254 | Location: Atlanta, GA, USA | Registered: October 12, 2003
Dear Broken, Most times the way a person reacts to any situation is based on what is inside them. Meanness and anger are usually born from fear. It doesn't really help your feelings when you are being rejected but if you try to remember the other person is probably afraid, it may help you be in a better place to deal with your own feelings and theirs. Good luck and keep praying. Barbara
If he brings you to it, he'll bring you through it.
Posts: 15 | Location: lawrenceville, ga usa | Registered: September 06, 2003
My best friend did the same as your friend. She told me to not do be with her and blah, but a few months later she realized that she was going to love me whatever I did and whatever I decided was best for my life. She was going to plan my pre-wedding party. And now that there is no wedding she is there for me in that too. Let her know that you are still Gods and are searching out His will in your life. She should understand.
My Lizzy told her sister that she was with me and her sister said that we were disgusting because we were sitting by each other. It is hateful and mean but it really is their hang up. They see sex instead of love. Their initial reaction is to reject it so God wont reject them which is silly but people are scared about what they don’t know and people don’t know what it really means to be gay and Christian they see perversion and sin the opposite of God and whatever anyone else has told them but they really do not know what God thinks of it and it scares them because it might make them believe something different than all the other affirming Christians and past ignorant teachings. It’s a scary thing to question what you believe and you have made being gay a real thing that they even themselves have to face. They think that if they support you they are supporting sin and not loving you but you have to know that that is wrong because you want to serve Him and He loves you so how could it be wrong for them to support you in your walk? past teachings not by God have scared most people into believing that it taints everything and everything about it is a sure way to hell way worse than any "Normal sin?" either that they are ignorant and they are scared to really face it. Like they should let God guide you just give it to God and let Him soften their hearts. They still love you they’re just lost about the subject.
