This is really a good story about “coming out” or the results of coming out years ago. I do need some incite about what to do now.

The 4th of July week each year is the annual vacation with my family. I live in another state and the week of July 4th is usually the only time each year I see them. Other than that, we don’t talk. That is because I came out to them 10 years ago.

My family is Southern Baptist. I have a brother who is extremely active in the church and a brother-in-law who is a Southern Baptist pastor. So you probably have a good idea of the reaction to my coming out.

The 4th of July family vacations had not been fun. Two years ago, that changed though. I finally stood up and told them that if they didn’t stop pointing a finger at me and telling me how much God hated me for my lifestyle I would not attend another vacation and my relationship with them would have to end. They took that seriously and for the past two years, they have not said a word about it. Until this year.

Last week was the annual vacation and we had a really good week together. The last day though my brother came up to me and said his pastor was considering welcoming homosexuals into their church and he wanted to know what I thought about it. I asked him what he would do if a gay or lesbian did attend his church. He said he would love them, tell them about God, and then tell them that God hated the sin of homosexuality. I frankly told my brother not to consider opening the doors of his church to gays. Then a lengthy conversation began about the “sin” and he and my brother-in-law compared homosexuality to cocaine or heroin addiction or addiction to porn! I didn’t do a very good job arguing with them…..I simply said “you have got to be kidding!” and then shut up.

The conversation did change to me personally and my brother wanted to know about my life. He said I never shared with them so they didn’t have a clue…..After I explained to him that sharing anything personal with him would be an open invitation for attack and no one in their right mind would even consider it…….I did tell him about the woman I am dating and the community I have. No attack came……..just before we parted my brother and my brother-in-law came and hugged me and said they wanted to know me and wanted to simply agree to disagree. Talk about a miracle! Or a new fad…not sure. It might be becoming “the trend or in vogue” to talk to homosexuals. I guess you can understand why I am a little suspicious about this…..it’s hard to trust people who treat you so badly for so long.

Now I feel as if I need to do something else. I really want to try to communicate with them about the “sin” issue we were talking about at the beginning of the conversation. If my brother’s pastor is considering opening that church to gays, I feel the need to say something to them about it. I know that is a big question so just point me in the right direction to read more about it…….

DJ

DJ...your concerns are certainly valid ones. I grew up in a Baptist Church that held beliefs very similar to a Southern Baptist. The church I am in now is much more liberal but still not accepting...not even to women preaching! Whatever!

Is there any chance this church is part of the American Baptist Church? If so, there is a great group amoungst the American Baptists that is affirming. The Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists has at least 50 member churches across the US. There might be some information on their website (http://www.wabaptists.org/) that would help you prepare for a discussion.

As for a dialogue with your family. I guess the only way I can think of to approach it is to start with, "If you seriously want to listen to me, without judging, I would love to talk to you about your plans to open the doors to the gay community". Don't try to convince them they are wrong. Don't let them get into a discussion about their views, just stick to the facts and help them to understand how to minister to our community.

God will take care of the rest if you pray for His help!

Carol

DJ there is also some excellent articles out there by some Baptist ministers. One in particular I link to from the "Gay and Christian?" portion of the site. Check out all the links at the bottom of the page and the one that says "God Made me Gay" by Bruce Lowe. That's a little mistitled and I need to correct that. Bruce's lengthy article/letter is really titled "A letter to Louise" but it's found on the "God made me gay" web site. It's a lengthy read but one that is well worth the time to read. FYI - Bruce is a retired baptist minister. If you want to be really blessed check out the pictures of Bruce and his wife Anna Marie that can be found throughout the site (especially in the section "about the author"). I think there is nothing more wonderful than an older couple that is still obviously very, very much in love.