Jesus was wandering around Jerusalem when He decided that He really needed a new robe. After looking around for a while, He saw a sign for Finkelstein, the Tailor. So, He went in and made the necessary arrangements to have Finkelstein prepare a new robe for Him.


A few days later, when the robe was finished, Jesus tried it on and it was a perfect fit! He asked how much He owed. Finkelstein brushed him off: "No, no, no, for the Son of God? There's no charge! However, may I ask for a small favor? Whenever you give a sermon, perhaps you could just mention that your nice new robe was made by Finkelstein, the Tailor?"


Jesus readily agreed and as promised, extolled the virtues of His Finkelstein robe whenever He spoke to the masses.


A few months later, while Jesus was again walking through Jerusalem, He happened to walk past Finkelstein's shop and noted a huge line of people waiting for Finkelstein's robes. He pushed his way through the crowd to speak to him and as soon as Finkelstein spotted Him he said: "Jesus, Jesus, look what you've done for my business! Would you consider a partnership?"


"Certainly," replied Jesus. "Jesus & Finkelstein it is."


"Oh, no, no," said Finkelstein. "Finkelstein & Jesus. After all, I am the craftsman."


The two of them debated this for some time. Their discussion was long and spirited, but ultimately fruitful and they finally came up with a mutually acceptable compromise.


A few days later, the new sign went up over Finkelstein's shop. Can you guess what it read??





Are you sure you want to know?



Here it comes..



Don't say you weren't warned......


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Lord & Tailor





DON'T WHINE & MOAN - YOU KNOW YOU'LL PASS IT ON

Rose,
ROFL......GEES!!! hahahahahahahahaha
misswings

Since I can't start a new thread, I'll piggyback this one!

ROSE


Subject: ACTS 2:38

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" ("Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven...")

The burglar stopped in his tracks.

The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you."

"Scripture?" replied the burglar. "She said she had an ax and two 38's!"

One More Time!!!



A Fishy Tale

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea -
one named Justin and the other named Christian.

The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.
Finally one day Justin said to Christian,
"I'm fed up with being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten."

A large mysterious cod suddenly appeared and said, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.

Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time passed (as it invariably does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn.

He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny
little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.

Looking around the gathering at the reef he realized he couldn't see his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked.

"He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark",
came the reply.

Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend! Come out and see me again."

Christian replied, "No way, you'll eat me! You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner."

Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed......................"






Ready?














Keep scrolling.........






















"......I've found Cod. I'm a prawn again Christian".