I was watching a Discovery Channel program tonight on the Duggans, a family with 16 (You heard me right) children. They are committed Christians. In fact, all the girls wear dresses. They are a beautiful family. They were a tremendous witness to the Lord...their love for the Lord and for each other was very apparent...and you could tell it was real. The mother has given birth to all those kids, yet she AND her husband looked young, beautiful and vital. You could FEEL their strong faith. Incredible! My problem is this.....it made me feel like, ugly and twisted because I am not like them. I have known families like this who have many kids, homeschool their children, etc.. and it makes me feel like not a good enough Christian, especially being gay. In much of my life, I am almost afraid to get to know people because I dread the time where I will have to tell them I am gay. A family like that would not want to have me around even though we share like 98% of the same values. What do you all think??
Posts: 307 | Location: San Francisco Bay Area, CA, USA | Registered: July 06, 2001
God did not intend that we all be alike. Remember that there are many gifts, but one spirit. God made you just the way you are, and God loves you just as you are. Ingrid
Posts: 294 | Location: Monrovia, MD USA | Registered: August 25, 2003
Iknow how you feel, I often have the same thoughts. But think of those people like us that don’t believe in Christ that need someone to reach them. Jesus didn’t come for the perfect but the imperfect so that he can finish the work in them. There are so many homosexuals who need Christ. the groups of gay people that I have been in are really Godless, sad hopeless and they have experienced so much hate especially from Christians. You know I used to be in that type of family. I did everything that was Kosher especially to the Christian community, and I loved God but my view was so skewed, rigged and sometimes so unloving. I would have kicked you out before too but that's not right. I regret being like that even though I thought that I was pleasing God. I'm thankful for where I am now. I know the kind of love that God gives but now I understand how much hate the Christian community gives and how it's not what God would want. It's what rigged, self saving, controlling, full of fear, Christians would want even though we believe that we were doing the right thing. God I know would truly love us no matter if were different and now that I understand I can fully share the love of God with people like me. People who have seen so much hate and need to know God's love for them, and who need to know that they don’t have to be perfect for God to do so, because that’s for Him to make happen, He determines that and delivers that gift. I have so much acceptance and love for people now that I'm gay and I feel more like Christ now that I know that, and I feel closer to Gods love now that I am gay. In fact loving my girlfriend so much has taught me how much Christ really does love me. She's hurt me in the past and I have this ever flowing forgiveness for her and now I understand the love, mercy and forgiveness that used to just be head knowledge. But Blyth they are no different than you on the inside just the outside. Like you said you believe 98% of what they do. You know in fact I know for a fact that no one Christian believes in all the same things as ea.other, just Christ. It's impossible. like us our lives and relationships with God are totally different than ea.others. Don’t worry you’ve actually been support for me. Whether I remain or feel God wants me to change.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: katt7,
Ah, Blyth.....Surely you realize how very special you are? You know, for every person who felt inadequate watching that family, I'll bet there were 3 or 4 who were thinking, "Whew! Glad that's not me! I'd be stark-raving mad homeschooling 16 kids!" I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, mind you. What I'm saying is, we are each of us very different, with our own unique roles in this life. This family has a role of homeschooling and raising up 16 young people. You have a role of posting uplifting thoughts on these boards, along with whatever job you do IRL. Those are different roles, but each very honorable ones. KWIM? Also, remember that what we see of others is only their outward appearance. If we compare our inner insecurities with their apparent outward competence, that's a losing proposition! Most people, if they're being totally honest, will admit that inside they feel the same way you do when they look at others who represent what they think they admire--whether that picture is a true one or not. Hope that makes sense; I'm on call & starting to get punchy!
Posts: 706 | Location: IN, USA | Registered: July 19, 2003
Blyth: When I was a young mother, my oldest is now in her early forties, I used to struggle with being the kind of mom that participated in bake sales, escorted brownies around, went on field trips and stayed home to bake fresh cookies for my kids as they wandered in from school. I FELT TOTALLY INADEQUATE and in sabbotaging my life with inadequacy, I became inadequate. I am not a mom that would have home schooled four let alone 16 kids, and I would now have my own wing at the local mental hospital. What God did do for me over the years of being a "not so perfect mom" was to take me by the hand and lead me to where I am now. A NOT SO PERFECT MOM, a NOT SO PERFECT HUMAN BEING, but a woman who loves God and strives to be the best "me" I can by the power of the Holy Spirit residing in me. I'm facing some tough challenges in a week when I go to try to make amends to a daughter from whom I've been estranged for over a year, nearly two. I need prayer for this little venture. It's NOT a little venture really, it's very important and critical. I'm no where near coming to terms within my family as to my sexual orientation, or ready to throw in the towel because I've blown it as a mother. I am a sinner saved by grace and my Bible tells me, "my grace is sufficient for thee." I have to believe that God is going before me to "make the crooked places straight", and that HE is in the details of EVERY area of my life. He promises to "perfect that which concerns me". I must compare myself to myself, perhaps you can also apply that principle. When I compare myself to others I will be seeing a skewed picture EVERY time. Some will be better and some will be worse and then I start playing judge and jury over their lives as well as my own. I need to see through the eyes of compassion every time and see others for the gifts God has placed in THEM and in myself. I need God's perspective in every area of my life. He is perfecting me, and He is perfecting you and preparing you to reach others with His love from the place you are right now in your journey. If we wait to be the perfect mom who homeschools her 16 children we might never start reaching a hurting world with God's love. I look at who I was when my 40 year old daughter was growing up and I look at my life now after God got hold of my life. I can't reconcile the woman I was then with the one I see in the mirror of His word. I am not who I was and I'm not what He will make me I just need to trust Him and Let Go and Let God.
You are a blessing Blyth, Katie42
"Whom the Son sets free, is free indeed."
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."
Posts: 518 | Location: Wisconsin | Registered: April 29, 2005
Blyth, I know the family you are talking about. They do look "picture perfect" and they sound very strong in their faith. I don't know their hearts but I have gotten to see a lot of yours over the past few years. You have shared your beautiful spirit in your devotionals and touched many lives. I do know this because I have talked to others who have been touched by your devotionals. I also know that your work with very special children. As a special educator, I get tired of people telling me how patient I must be, how rewarding it must be etc, but you do know you are touching lives of kids and families. From the glimpses of your heart that you have shown us here, I am sure you continually touch people with you compassion and love. God uses ordinary people, rich people, poor people, old people, young people, straight people, and gay people. The point being that your desire is to serve Him and spread His love and message. Don't let being gay stop you from doing that. Let people know you for the beautiful Christian you are who happens to be gay. And by the way, I would love for you to begin your devotionals again.
