I have been really struggling lately. Just when I feel I am at peace living as a lesbian something or someone shakes me up and i begin to doubt myself. I am in the middle of a divorce and that is another struggle but anyway he uses the bible against me constantly. He keeps saying that I must not have faith in God if I am on this path cuz if I did I would believe God will change me..which is another thing..a few years ago I did try to change and joined an ex gay group. THey were supportive and nice people..and now that I am going into the lifestyle I am getting alot of messages from them on how to change and why God wants me to change and how i am living in sin and it totally confuses me. I have been crying alot over things.
I am sometimes thinking or reconciling with him just to have peace in my life. I just know that these feelings for women will never go away.

It's been hard

Go to Godmademegay.com. This gave me peace. Hope this helps.

Here is another source "Gay and Christian?"

I'm sorry it is so hard for you right now. I want to share some thoughts with you from my pastor's sermon yesterday. He was preaching on the Transfiguration, and on the light that God can shine through all of us. He said we have both a God-given self, that is light, and a "small" self, that is comprised of all our fears and doubts. Whan we focus on God, we can be in the light. When we are in the light, we are all alike. As Paul said, there is neither Jew nor Greek, neither male nor female. We are all alike, and we do not need to judge or to fear being judged. I pray that you may live in the light and not be afraid of things people say. God loves you just as you are. I will keep you in my prayers.
Ingrid

thank u all..things r getting better

God bless

I just got off the phone wth the soon to be ex, he had a lot to say as usual. He told me I need to fight being gay that it's a weakness just like his alcohlism. I need to turn from it and fight it to become healed.
I am getting a little sick and tired of hearing this all the time. I used to alwyas let him intimidate me but feel like I am getting stronger.
His mother had a relationship with a woman for years when he was a teen. The woman did not like kids so it was a bad atmosphere at home and I know he has negative views about 2 woman households. He said its darkness.
The things is, I would never be with a woman who treated my kids badly. I would think he knew that about me. My kids have always been top priority in my life...after God of course..

Freedom, don't listen to his nonsense. My wife and I have been together 18 years and have two wonderful children. We have created a wonderful home together and our family is a good one. The kids are thriving and doing quite well (friends, school, after school activities, they enjoy life and we talk about God often). My point is that gay families can be just as wonderful and loving and nurturing as 'straight' families. In fact our family is much closer knit than 90% of the 'straight' families I know.

thank u Elaine. He is telling me that if I am gay I must not believe in God and that I wont bring the kids up with God in our home and that is just not true.
Good to hear stories like yours..
Thanks again

The people that I love try to tell me that I cant love God if I love my wife but when I try to not love her because of what they say, that is when I grow cold to God. I believe that if you have love. Love is from God because it's good so therefore you will have a good house hold too right? I want to raise a family with my wife and I beleive that there will be adversities just like with everything but that doesnt mean I cant love God or raise my children to Love Him too. Maybe I'm too young and dont have much right to talk but...