Dear God,

Firstly I would like to ask, why did you create us? Was it just for fun, a game to play because you were bored one day? There is so much trouble in the world, mainly caused by those who “proclaim” to be people of God. How can that be when there is little acceptance of alternative cultures and religions? Is it ok that we go to war because someone is doing something that we don’t agree with? To kill to maim and to degrade others just because they don’t fit in with our way of thinking.

You created us to be able to love, yet this, according to the teachings of the Bible is only allowed as long as we love the right people. How can that be? Aren’t the right people, the people “We” feel are right, and that it shouldn’t come down to what is allegedly written.

The Bible is supposed to be “the Word of God”, yet it tells us that we can not love someone of the same sex. So where you created us to Love our fellow man, to fill our hearts with love is not true, for we can not love who we chose to love. So once again we are going against what you always wanted for us, to open our hearts to you and fill our lives with love, for you are Love. How can we do that, when we are being told that it is an abomination to love someone of the same sex.

Love is a strong word, yet stronger still is the word Hate. We are supposed to fight Satan, hold back that hate, for hate is evil, yet how can we when the love that we feel for someone is rejected by You.

Being Gay means that we are doomed from the start, we have been created to love, yet are forbidden to love in a natural way, and by natural I mean natural to Gay people. You see circumstance, upbringing, no matter what did not make us Gay, You did.

If we chose to love someone of the same sex, then we are sinning, yet not to love at all is also sinning. So tell me, what are we supposed to do? Live our lives only for you, surely that’s not what you wanted for us, sure we wouldn’t be alone spiritually but physically, emotionally, we would be empty. If that is the case, again my question is, why did you create us in physical form? Why not just leave us alone as spiritual beings, loving only you.

Love causes so much pain, it’s no wonder that people prefer to hate. You don’t get any surprises with hate, you know exactly where you stand. There is no confusion, there is no right or wrong way to hate. There is just hate.

So tell me, have we turned out like you hoped, you sent your only son to save us, yet was he only sent to save those who conform to the rules. The rest of us have no chance, no way out, no way of knowing what it feels like to know you as we know ourselves. For hiding the fact that we are Gay, is hiding from ourselves, and in hiding from ourselves means that we will never know ourselves, will that result is us never being able to truly know you.

I believe that in doing this, that we leave the door wide open for Satan, he can walk straight in and before we know it he has taken over. I really don’t believe that this is what you wanted for us, we are all God’s children yet by reading the scriptures that are supposedly written as guidance you are basically handing us over to the other side. That doesn’t seem right to me, surely you would want to fight for us, isn’t that why you sent Jesus to us, to help save us. To follow in his footsteps and love each other unconditionally, without prejudice, not matter who they are, no matter what religion, colour, creed, or sex.

So please tell me, am I wrong to be Gay, is it so wrong to love someone with all my heart and soul, to accept them for everything that they are, to support them in everything they do?

I don’t suppose I will ever really find out, but I will continue to live my life as I think you meant me to, I will continue to love who I chose to love, for there is not enough love in this world, it shouldn’t matter what kind of love as long as there is love. I’m prepared to take my chances through life, and will leave the final decision up to you.

Thank you for taking time to read this, to listen to my rambles. I just hope more people realise that without true love in their lives that they will become empty. I will rejoice the love that I hold inside, and I will thank you for making me this way, and for giving me the opportunity for bringing joy to someone’s life.

Paula

Wilba/Paula,
Thanks for sharing your heart. That was beautiful. I think many of us have asked those same questions.

Paula, dear, thank you for your words. You spell out exactly what I believe many gay and lesbian people feel - that God does not love them and that therefore they should not love God. And I know that many gay and lesbian Christians and who believe that the Bible is the infallible word of God, feel that they are not worthy in God's sight, and come to hate themselves, or God, or both. It is so inexpressibly sad. For me, I have come to believe that the Bible, though inspired by God, was written by men in a certain time and place. Not everything is the Bible applies in the context of the present time. We wear garments of mixed fibers, eat shellfish, and women are no longer required to keep silence in the church. And many are coming to know that being gay or lesbian is about who you love more than about who you have sex with. God created us as we are, and loves us as we are.
Ingrid

Paula, I appreciate your words. As I read them, I could identify with the emotions you have felt. I've been there! These things came to my heart as I read it and I wanted to share these things with you:

1. To show God's love, we need to have the Fruits of the Spirit within us. These are: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness and Self Control. When I grew up, I was taught to love everyone...except people that believed different things from my church. That is neither kind nor good so that teaching was wrong. We need to strive for these Fruits and love everyone.

2. We need to continuously ask God to "keep us from evil" so that we don't have to fight it head on. When it's right in front of us, we don't have a choice but to rebuke evil...but God can keep us from evil if we ask Him too!

Yup, there are a lot of mixed up Christians out there...but know that God loves you...just the way your are!

That was a beautiful letter to God and it was a blessing of you to share it.

I have asked many similar things about being transgendered.

Maybe some of us are blessed in knowing of a certainty that we need the Lord's mercy more than those who live lives that make it easy to take his mercy for granted.

May God bless you.

Tiffany