Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? Proverbs 27:4

I was a jealous child. Jealousy was like a overwhelming spring rising up inside of me, and rushing to every part of my body until it filled me. If I look back, the main reason I was jealous is because I always felt that someone would take something good that I had. I never felt good enough to deserve what I possessed. I also felt that other people would take away the people I loved, or be able to create a deeper, more intimate relationship with those same people than I could. Jealousy filled me because I was empty inside. Perhaps one of the reasons was that I had no idea that I desired intimate emotional relationships with some of the people in my life, and that path was not open to me. I actually did not know WHAT it was that I wanted. I had no words for it. That is why it ruled me; because my empty heart was searching for someone to fill what I could not fill myself. This could lead to rage, depression and sulking.
The Lord, in His Wisdom, has filled these places, and although I find myself occasionally jealous, it does not rule me. Recently, my wife and I were in San Francisco, on Castro Street, a gay mecca. My wife was admiring the physique of a young man when she suddenly caught the eye of a couple crossing the street. One of them obviously thought she was looking at her girlfriend who was next to this man, and shot her a menacing look. My wife said that this woman was not in the least bit her type. I think that is where jealousy springs from; empty illusions of loss, our own headtrips that help us to view things in a skewed manner, and a lack of trust. Mostly, a lack of trust. Sometimes, this is well founded, and we find our jealousy was a warning bell to a real situation. Just as often, though, our jealousy works as a destructive force, driving people away from us and destroying a relationship with our lack of trust. This is something we need to give to God. It is not an easy thing for us to deal with, yet jealousy can be a destructive force in our lives; many homicides are a result of these jealousies. This ruins many lives. Our own lack of confidence in our spouse or girlfriend loving us can actually destroy the relationship because jealousy is stifling to the other person. There is no easy answer to this dilemna- put into the right situation, my jealousy could rise up again. It could destroy what was so lovingly created.
The true answer is letting GOD be the center of our lives. People will let us down. People will lie and cheat on us. People will tell us they love us out of one side of their mouth, while the other speaks a whole different thing. I am not saying NEVER trust anyone else. That causes more turmoil, more jealousy and more problems. There have GOT to be people in our lives that we trust. What is important, is not to make people the center of our lives, but the Lord. It is Him that fills us, Him that gives us confidence in love, and in Himself. Read Psalm 139. This is a song of love to us from God. Jealousy is something we always must deal with, yet confidence in God and in His Love for us is the true answer to this dilemna.