A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel. Proverbs 15:18

I am sure at least some of you have belonged to a church divided by factions; perhaps it was a question of whether or not to allow gays into full fellowship and leadership within its' walls. Perhaps it was over the issue of the color of the carpets for the foyer. The last church I belonged to (and am actually still a member of!) had things going on behind the back of the former Pastor, a loving and gentle man. I was devastated by discovering this because I truly loved him and thought he was wonderful. This man also had the dignity to show up at one of the little "meetings" of the dissenters to voice his own heart on the matter. The same leader of this group tried this out on the new Pastor...during a Diaconate meeting...and found out that she was a formidable opponent. The leader chose not to continue to worship with our congregation, though her husband, an ordained Baptist minister, chose to ride his bike to church on many occasions. This church was actually already open and affirming. I have mentioned in my new church which is considering Open and Affirming status in a conservative area, that this will not be a cure-all.
Within many of our churches lurks a hot-tempered person, bent on holding the reins of power in the church. They may hold their badly-needed tithes over the head of the leadership to get their way. They may create factions within the church that are both destructive and unloving. People fear their tempers or their reprisals. How do we deal with these people? First, by realizing what they are doing is sin. I am amazed by all the focus on the gay questions when they have not yet rid their churches of the gossips, slanderers and dissenters that chip away at the foundations of their body. Secondly, by bringing their actions to the Lord for a resolution. Thirdly, by not being moved by whether they will remove their money from the church. If God built it, God will take care of it. If God did NOT, you are simply attending weekly lectures on religion and should go elsewhere. Fourth, by being the "patient man[or woman]" in this Proverb. It will NOT help you to enter the fray slinging mud. Even if you are only slinging it, you are bound to get your hands dirty, too. Your patient, gentle answers will stand for the Lord in this fracus. It will not be easy. You will not be without temptation to join in. Just yesterday, co-workers as usual, were talking about a certain young man. I did not join in. One of them looked at me and said, "Blyth likes everyone". And I admitted, I did. What this woman did NOT know is how often I truly wanted to join in the gossip, yet felt the Lord say, "No no no!". But I also remember that I am representing God in every area of my life, not just at Church. So instead of joining in, lets make a commitment to calm the quarrel and stand for the Lord in all the circumstances that churn around us. That is one of the best witnesses we can have.